Oh Dear

Posted: June 4, 2005 in Uncategorized

She took her time, but finally, it’s happened…..

Mother has sent me worming tablets.

Oh. God.

It is not the rancid pink stuff in a sachet she used to force feed me on a weekly basis. Technology appears to have moved on, and they are orange flavoured tablets. Her instructions are to take all four, one week apart. The instructions on the packet say to take one. Only. That’s it. Unless symptoms don’t go away, then you can take another a week later. After that, see the doc.

Now I’m scared. What is the woman on? So far, she is convinced I have piles, thrush, threadworms, a ‘bad head’, morbid thoughts, grubby ideas, malnutrition, calcium deficiency, sinusitis, menopause problems (how? I’m 31) and probably a whole host of stuff she’s not allowed to buy medicine for over the counter.

I’ll tell you what I have. Headaches caused by either stress, exertion, lack of sleep or lack of food. Stress caused by worry of mad parent coming to visit, driving a Holland and Barratt lorry, and cramps.

We are off to Huntingdon this afternoon to eat ribs and other forms of chargrilled meat and it will be wonderful. We will be excited about seeing Motley Crue together, and I will have a laugh. I will not have to worry if anyone has put anything bad in the marinade (MSG I can cope with).

I will never eat any food my mother offers me again – I remember when she used to put that worming powder in my food *shudder*

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