Mother Saga – an update

Posted: January 5, 2007 in Uncategorized

Let’s see.

Left work on Wednesday, and went to hide in a village. The last two nights, I have been put up by the lovely Grat, who has put up with me in his batchelor pad, reading his books, eating his food, doing his washing up and throwing away the out of date grub in his fridge. Have bored him with car porn and geekery, gobbed off at his mates and generally made a nuisance of myself.

As much as I like the peace and quiet though, I have to get back to my own flat to attend to the cats, and have a bath. I smell of Lynx. And I’m bored of these jeans. And I want to dye my hair a nice shade of pink. And I haven’t worn makeup for days, and i’ve had to wash my face with soap. I look a right spotty oik. Eurgh.

Well, Mother was seen in town this morning, not looking too great. After ring Social No-Services, they said she wasn’t obviously unwell, there was nothing they could do and I’d have to try and get her registered with Pilgrims – like I want her to live near me, and have to watch my step at every moment……

They have been less than helpful and just suggest the police move her on.  If you think I’m being a bit hysterical, think of it this way.

If she gets into my flat, nothing short of violent physical force will get her out. She will go through my flat like a dose of salts. Every bit of mail, every letter, card and magazine will be looked at. SHe will ask questions about EVERYTHING. Who I’m ringing, why my phone bill is high, what programmes I watch, why do I have to buy ‘boys’ magazines, why am I in debt, why is my flat untidy etc etc. And then she’ll ‘do stuff. The skull and anything vaguely ‘unfeminine’ (the rubber rats, the skull candles, spider ornaments, cars) will be thrown out, she’ll buy me those ghastly porcelain dolls, she’ll go through my fridge and complain I don’t eat ‘properly’, she’ll complain I’m ‘morbid’ and the reason Chris left me is because I’m not ‘normal’ She’ll throw clothes away that aren’t ‘ladylike’, she’ll actually go through my underwear drawer and make comment. Once, a few years ago, she actually told me I was wearing the wrong size bra because ‘no-one in our family is that size, only tarts are that size’…..WTF????
And she hates black and white moggies. I have two. She will smoke constantly in my house. She will invade my space, and look through stuff in my bedroom. She disapproves of everything that I am. She thinks that if only I didn’t draw attention to myself, ‘they’ would leave me alone. As I draw attention to myself, I attract scroungers and leechers and bad people.
She is most definitely Not Right in the head.

She irritates me beyond belief. And when she’s On One, she has The Voice. A sort of screechy, whiny scary voice. It’s not good. Very shortly I will be going into town to get some vets fees, then I have to get home somehow. Feed the animals, buy them more food, clean up, have a bath. Finish reading Djinn Rummy, finish reading Thud. Throw out all MY out of date food – check I have apron for work tomorrow, get to pub, maybe.

There’s more, but I’ll save it. I have well and truly had enough. I don’t want to be walking on eggshells in my own town, it’s ridiculous!!!!!!

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