Nasty

Posted: May 10, 2007 in Uncategorized

Just had big  emo rant on the Spazz.

Not gonna cut and paste bust basically, I think too much, want to visit people so I can’t think, and am feeling massively hurt and annoyed with myself for;

a – being a coward and letting this happen AGAIN
b – having something so fundamentally wrong with me that it keeps happening.

It goes like this.  I do not look for relationships, in fact it’s very rare I find someone I would even consider one with. The last two, however, have decided I’m perfectly fine as ‘a bit of fun’, but as soon as they find someone ‘better’, or more acceptable as a girlfriend, they’re off like a shot. Grrr. Of course, if I’ve decided I might like to spend more time with them, it’s a fair bet I’ve got some feelings for them already and a modicum of attachment on my part.

I find this frustrating and upsetting. I’m not going to apologise for not being needy or whatever they hell they want but it’s just getting fucking boring now. Wouldn’t be so bad if I could actually ever pull, then I could use and abuse a few boys to cheer myself up. Unfortunately I’m totally incapable.

So I’m sitting here feeling sorry for myself because I am a total reject.

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